Dear Penthouse Letters...

May 2024 · 7 minute read

Was talking about this the other day: they used to always have a gay story in there that involved two otherwise hetero friends hooking up. Most always had a line like "well I'm not gay, I love pussy, but when I saw Brad's hot 8-inch rod just inches from my lips, I knew I had to try it."

And 99% of them ended with "Brad and I still love pussy and love to fuck the co-eds at our school. But on the rare occasions we both strike out, we know what it takes to keep the fun going."

They used to collect them in special M/M + M/F editions too. That was my earliest jackoff material but was supplanted by internet porn. Always thought it was too bad they never took them online--would have been popular--those stories were hot, at least to my teenage mind.

Anyone else?

by Anonymousreply 24September 4, 2018 8:41 PM

My favorite letter to Penthouse advisor was something like this

Dear Penthouse advisor, I am a teenage female and a friend of mine and I have found that if we put Alka Seltzer tablets in our vaginas that the fizzing makes us have the most amazing orgasms. However we were wondering if this might be causing some sort of damage. So is it okay for us to get off putting Alka Seltzer tablets in our vaginas? Signed reaching orgasm in Fresno

Dear Fresno: I congratulate you on your exploration of your pleasure zones however Alka Seltzer contains aspirin and aspirin can irritate the walls of your vagina, so I would recommend that you switch to fruit flavored Fizzies Tables, you will still get the effervescence sensation which is causing your orgasms and your boyfriends will get a nice taste treat.

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by Anonymousreply 1February 1, 2017 12:09 AM

This is just awesome R1!

Can't believe no one here read those. Were you all just so gay you couldn't be bothered with Penthouse, or was it a 90s thing only and way past when most of you were adolescents?

by Anonymousreply 2February 1, 2017 12:15 AM

I was reading them in the 70s. Jersey off thousands of times to them. The one where a guy gets picked up in a record store was one of my favorites.

by Anonymousreply 3February 1, 2017 12:19 AM

I used to love those occasional gay letters. My brother always had issues of Penthouse buried in his closet and I can't tell you how many times I jacked off to those gay letters. Which I suppose begs the question: why exactly did they have gay letters in a straight magazine?

by Anonymousreply 4February 1, 2017 12:20 AM

....Jersey off...is that an eldergay term?

by Anonymousreply 5February 1, 2017 12:21 AM

Thanks R3-- I thought they were around forever. What happened in the record store?

And yes, R4. 100%. I always wondered that too. I got the female on female ones--straight guys are into that. But were they secretly trying to convert straight guys for us, lol?

by Anonymousreply 6February 1, 2017 12:22 AM

Jersey off is when you hit the restrooms on the Turnpike reststops.

No, it was fucking autocorrect!

by Anonymousreply 7February 1, 2017 12:33 AM

I stole them out of my older brothers room....and also "Club International" which was sort of hard core for the time (had hot and hung men with women rather than just women). I loved those stories. I practically had them memorized, even with the typos.

"We came all over each the place" - typo from a 1996 penthouse forum issue. I was so into stories...and then later there was the usenet with m/m newsgroup stories that were super hot - like Will Riker and Wesley crusher lol...

God ... kids today have it so easy!

by Anonymousreply 8February 1, 2017 12:38 AM

the gay guy who got pulled over by a state trooper penthouse letter was a seminal part of my early teenage gayness.

by Anonymousreply 9February 1, 2017 2:25 AM

some of them were indeed hot

by Anonymousreply 10February 1, 2017 2:35 AM

10 Greatest Penthouse Letter Subjects Of All Time

but none of them are gay subject letters.

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by Anonymousreply 11February 1, 2017 3:19 AM

Found a gay letter to Penthouse

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by Anonymousreply 12February 1, 2017 3:22 AM

Used to work taking phone orders in Room Service at the Plaza Hotel in the late 70's. The waiters would occasionally bring down copies of Penthouse for us in the office. I'd read the letters to my two female co-workers.

My favorite concerned a married man who was having a longterm love affair with his wife's father! The two of them would go off on camping trips together, with their wives' blessing, who were so happy the men got along so well!

So I suggested we do a sitcom about it, and call it "Father Knows Best!" But one of the women had a better suggestion: "Make Room for Daddy!"

Loved those Penthouse gay letters. (I often considered they'd been written by the magazine's writers.)

by Anonymousreply 13February 1, 2017 3:48 AM

[quote] Loved those Penthouse gay letters. (I often considered they'd been written by the magazine's writers.)

As opposed to the hetero ones which were sent in by real people, lol!!

by Anonymousreply 14February 1, 2017 3:50 AM

Thanks R12-- oddly enough that must be fairly recent as the couple in the story are "googling" someone's phone number.

by Anonymousreply 15February 1, 2017 3:52 AM

I remember those stories well. One in particular about two GI's who get it on on a bunk bed. Bisexuality was very hip in the eighties, I think that's why they published those letters.

by Anonymousreply 16February 1, 2017 7:08 AM

OP, I didn't know Penthouse had M/M stories. A copy editor friend worked for Penthouse Variations in the 1980's. (That was the small magazine you could hide in a jacket.) Although Variations was enthusiastic about lesbian sex, gay male sex and the word "cum" were forbidden.

Everybody hated editing orgy stories because the writers would get sloppy about names and location, and Tom who had been Joe three pages ago was suddenly across the room and would've needed a ten foot cock to reach his girlfriend.

The Variations letters were mostly in-house and I'm guessing the Penthouse letters were too. Although some of the public's letters were used, they had to be heavily rewritten because they were barely literate. That's why those letters all sound alike.

by Anonymousreply 17February 1, 2017 8:14 AM

R12. Oh wow, that's some purple prose! I'm dying to read the sequel!

by Anonymousreply 18February 1, 2017 2:16 PM

Thanks for the inside scoop R17

by Anonymousreply 19February 16, 2017 2:36 PM

R18 the sequel is on that same site:

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by Anonymousreply 20February 16, 2017 3:49 PM

R12 and R15 you realize those letters aren't actual letters to Penthouse, right? It's a Sci Fi website that has authors who write fanfic sex stories. That series is one of them written as though a character from one of the sci fi shows is writing "letters to Penthouse."

by Anonymousreply 21February 16, 2017 4:18 PM

In light of the "Did you ever suck off a friend's father?" post, this thread needs to be revived. I missed it the first time, but I am surprised more DLers did not remember Penthouse Letters and the occasional gay story.

by Anonymousreply 22September 4, 2018 7:46 PM

I remember one where this guy’s best friend showed up drunk, and beaten up, at his door one night. He proceeded to get him into the bathtub, to clean him up, and you can guess what happens next. It was such a hot story, I still remember it so many years later.

by Anonymousreply 23September 4, 2018 8:22 PM

[quote]Although Variations was enthusiastic about lesbian sex, gay male sex and the word "cum" were forbidden.

When I was in junior high (1980), I got ahold of a copy of Variations, and they definitely had gay stories at the time. I specifically remember reading one about fisting (yikes).

I also came across (ha-ha) a copy of Penthouse that had a gay erotic story by none other than James Baldwin.

by Anonymousreply 24September 4, 2018 8:41 PM

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